RIP Baby T =(

In my last entry, I mentioned about our TGA case. Sadly, Baby T (i can't divulge the name for confidentiality and privacy purposes) died 1 day after being operated on. I got really sad that he didn't make it. =(

So anyway, we went to our second choice - an almost-two months old darling little girl with Congenital Heart Disease, Truncus Arteriosus Type I, and DiGeorge Syndrome. I fell in love with her in the two days that I rotated at PICU1. I kept talking to her, and hoping she'll make it. =)

The comparison between an normal heart

and a heart with truncus arteriosus

quickies

Just a quick update for my blog. I haven't had much time for blogging these days, I feel so bummed. I used to blog at least 8-10 times each month, now I'm just down to 2 or 3. Hmph.

Anyway, the didactic phase of our Crit Care is over - it's clinical exposure time. So far I've been exposed to the Medical ICU (MICU) and Surgical ICU (SICU). Both areas were awesome. But I prefer the SICU - it's less crowded and the staffs aren't as toxic as the ones in MICU so they got to entertain our questions more. Plus there we saw patients who were like Christmas trees with all their contraptions - chest tubes, Swan Ganz cath, mech vent, IV lines, femoral cath, A-line, etc. It's also where we've seen an A-line, a Swan Ganz, and a chest tube removed for the first time.

Today, we'll be at the PICU1 or the Pediatric ICU. PICU1 is for pay patients, and PICU2 is for the service ones. 3 of my case presentation groupmates already went there twice, not for exposure but to pick for a case for our case pres. We picked a 4-month old infant with Congenital Heart Disease, Dextroposition Transposition of Great Arteries, Patent Foramen Ovale, Ventricular Septal Defect. Sounds like a lot, right?

Anyway, I can't wait to go on duty. Most of my groupmates don't like PICU because they can't stand to see babies in mechanical ventilators, tracheostomies, and etc. Mind you, I hate seeing them that way too, and it almost broke my heart to see an infant with a trach, but I prefer caring for pediatrics.

I think babies are miracles and they deserve to be treated that way. =)

going all toxic

"Toxic" is a term most medical professionals (here in the Philippines, I don't know about other countries) use when we're bombarded with a huge workload, difficult patients, difficult patient's relatives, a patient with lots of complications, a very busy shift, etc. Students also use it if their clinical instructors give them a hard time, if they are assigned to patients hooked to a lot of contraptions, patients whose charts are filled with doctor's orders, or if they are busy with schoolwork.

In my case, I say my life is currently toxic, because I feel so tired all the time. My head's been bothering me for days, and I can't get as much sleep as I want. This critical care course is taking up all my time - it's like being back to school, only worse. We've got around 43 topics squeezed into a 3-week time frame. We have a midterm after 10 days, and a finals after the 3-week lecture. We have journal reading and case studies. Then a 4-week clinical exposure in different ICUs.

Add all that to my recurrent headache, I feel as though the world is slowly sucking the life out of me. I'm so freaking tired, and I can't even complain, because other people have it worse than me. I can't even go to the mall on weekdays (and TriNoma is so freaking near!) because even though we finish around 4, sometimes earlier, mostly later, the only thought I have as I slowly walk home (our apartment is only a 10-minute walk from PHC) is to curl up in bed and sleep. I don't even have much of an appetite, which is shockingly so not me. And I can't afford to lose any pounds since I don't have much to spare (no matter how much and how often I eat, I can't seem to gain weight).

I'm trying as hell to keep my eyes open while I scrounge the World Wide Web for another journal article (I need one more) but it's hard. Damn! Those people should stop being selfish and publish all those articles for free. I can't afford to pay for them, dammit!

I am so frustrated right now.