Saturday, August 17, 2013

Why one should never judge a book by its movie.

Yes, I am really doing this. Because I am a such a nerd, and I really need to get a life. 

So how do I do this, and where do I even begin?

1. Grover was searching for Pan, and like most satyrs who did before him, followed the scent of nature exuded by the fleece. Of course, it wasn't Pan he found, but Polyphemus. He pretended to be a female cyclops and was preparing a wedding dress slowly to stall the "wedding". He created an empathy link so Percy was having what he thought were dreams but it was actually Grover trying to communicate with him to ask for his help.
2. Percy and Tyson met at Meriwether College Prep where they're classmates. Tyson is a homeless kid, and the school adopted him as a community service project. He did not live in the woods. He lives in a cardboard refrigerator box in an alleyway.
3. Annabeth summoned the Chariot of Damnation on the way to camp. And she did it not by whistling, but by shouting something in Ancient Greek and throwing a drachma to the asphalt. It wasn't yellow, it was smoky gray. At least they got the coordinates right, though.
4. The camp was already under attack when Annabeth, Percy and Tyson got there.
5. Where the hell was Tantalus?
6. Why wasn't Chiron blamed and fired for the poisoning of Thalia's tree?
7. Tyson was supposed to be claimed by Poseidon at camp.
8. Chariot races and Stymphalian birds. Where were you?
9. Clarisse consulted the Oracle, not Percy. And speaking of which, Percy was told about the prophecy, but he didn't hear the full version of The Prophecy until the fifth book. And it said "A halfblood of the eldest gods, shall reach sixteen against all odds. And see the world in endless sleep. The hero's soul, cursed blade shall reap. A single choice shall end his days. Olympus to preserve or raze." Sixteen, not twenty. And the cursed blade was definitely not Riptide. Plus the history of the blade was just wrong.
10. They did not seek out Hermes, Hermes was the one who approached Percy. He did give them the thermos, and a set of vitamins, but no magic tape.
11. There were three Hippocampi. What happened to the two?
12. The Princess Andromeda was not a yacht. It was a cruise ship. They weren't taken as prisoners. And what Luke said about digging into the depths of Tartarus for Kronos? Pfffft. Kronos is slowly reforming. With every recruit who pledges to their cause, a small piece appears in the sarcophagus.
13. After escaping the Andromeda, they went into one of Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia's past hideout. There they fought a Hydra, with Clarisse arriving aboard the CSS Birmingham just in time to save them.
14. They passed Charybdis, but where the hell was Scylla? And they weren't sucked into the Sea of Monsters. The ship exploded; they got separated. Annabeth and Percy washed ashore on Circe's island "spa" and Circe, man-hater that she was, turned Percy into a guinea pig. The vitamins Hermes gave them turned Percy back, along with the other guinea pigs, one of whom was Blackbeard. They stole Blackbeard's ship, the Queen Anne's Revenge, and left the island.
15. A cyclops did not kill Thalia. They got delayed going back to camp because a cyclops tricked them, allowing the other monsters to catch up to them.
16. Island of the Sirens, anyone?
17. Polyphemus did not eat his sheep. He has a flock of them. And when they reached his island, Clarisse was also already a captive. When she heard about Polyphemus marrying Grover, she said he was a satyr which made him very angry. He threatened to eat Grover, and marry Clarisse instead. 
18. Annabeth donned her invisibility cap and used The trick Odysseus used, taunting him about Nobody. She wasn't stabbed by that scorpion-like tail, Polyphemus caught her and dropped her head-first into the rocks. The fleece did heal her, though.
19. Tyson survived the blast, and was found by Rainbow, one of the Hippocampi. Both of them were searching the Sea of Monsters looking for Percy and Annabeth before finally arriving at Polyphemus' island.
20. Clarisse brought the fleece back to camp. Luke caught up to Percy, Annabeth, Tyson, and Grover just about after Clarisse left. Luke never got the fleece.
21. Chiron and his fellow centaurs attacked the Princess Andromeda. Party ponies!
22. Kronos did not re-form. Yet. 

I wonder if I missed anything.

Granted, I don't care if they don't follow the book chapter by chapter. Even Harry Potter changed some of the scenes to fit into the movie.

What frustrates me is that they MESSED UP the storyline big time. So what happens on the third movie? Luke miraculously survived being trap with Polyphemus? Kronos reforms yet again? And what about the Great Prophecy? It was supposed to be fulfilled on the fifth and final book. What happens then? 

Aside from Harry Potter (because, who doesn't love HP?), Percy Jackson remains to be one of my favorites series. Harry Potter was great, and I did grew up with it, but wizards and magic aren't just my thing.

Greek mythology, however, is. I love the stories about the gods, and the way Rick Riordan incorporated it into the modern world is just awesome. This is why I really hated the way they turned the book into something not worth watching.

Sorry movie fans. I just had to.

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