high on sleeplessness

Oh my gawd, I have such a messed up body clock. It's so screwed up that I don't know how to fix it. Usually I just adjust my sleeping time gradually, until it goes back to normal (normal means that I sleep at night and wake up early in the morning), but it doesn't work. These past few days, I sleep around 4 at the earliest and 7 at the latest - yes, that's AM, not PM. I try to sleep a little earlier, but it's no use. I'd just lie in bed, tossing and turning all night, bordering between consciousness and unconsciousness, that I'd get no rest and my body would feel beat up in the morning.

Yesterday, I slept around 10 AM, then woke up around 2 PM. I was so tired and sleepy last night that I fell asleep the instant my head hit the pillow. That was about 9 PM. Imagine my delight (on a subconscious level) when I got the fall asleep that early. But of course, I should have known that it was too good to last.

I woke up sometime between 12 MN and 1 AM, and I was like, "Gawd, it's still dark. I won't get up. I won't get up." Because I know that if I give in to consciousness, I'd have a hard time going back to sleep. And I was right. 15 minutes after I woke up, I felt the urge to pee. Really bad. So I had no choice but to get up and shuffle my feet to the bathroom. Turning on the lights didn't help. Exposure to bright lights generally awakens a person, and I opted to keep the lights off, until I bumped my toe on our washing machine on my way to the bathroom. Ouch.

I wasn't able to fall asleep again. I spent the first 3 hours of wakefulness re-reading Rachel Gibson's Sex, Lies and Online Dating; and the next hour tossing and turning. Finally, I decided to stop fighting wakefulness and just take advantage of it, so I got up and booted my laptop. I spent the first half of my morning surfing the net, chatting with my friend Jen on YM, browsing Facebook, ans checking my mail. Come 9 AM, my Dad asked me to mind our store, since he's going out, and that's what I've done for the rest of the day.

I missed out on Jin's fiesta invite. Boohoo. =(

And now I think I should be going to bed, since I'm already having double vision. o.O